If you’ve had a traumatic birth experience, you may not only have feelings of depression and anxiety, but also flashbacks, nightmares, and difficulty connecting with others. If you are the spouse or partner of a woman struggling with reproductive mental health issues, you may be at a loss for how to help or be experiencing your own mental health challenges as a result of the changes in your family. We are passionate about helping women and their support systems through these difficult challenges.
Mention Out of the Ashes Foundation for a special discount on counseling services.
Restoration Counseling offers individual, couples and family therapy. They are experienced in helping people, couples and families work through issues involving: anger, anxiety, depression, and trauma (especially trauma-related issues that impact the couple). They have 3 locations in the Charlotte area (Steele creek, Pineville and Fort Mill).
Free Mental Health resources: Postpartum.net
Out of the Ashes Foundation – Couples Connect
The goal of this unique group will be to wrestle as a couple through the hard spiritual questions that arise in the midst of loss and trials. Each session we will have a different question to work through. We will provide a place that is safe to question, doubt and seek answers around your faith in God. He is not afraid of our questions. He will carry us through them. This group is open to couples who have walked through pregnancy loss, infant loss or infertility – in the distant or recent past.
Details: Third Monday of each month (break July & August) from 6-8 p.m. at Midwood Baptist Church. This is an open group, and there is no registration or RSVP necessary.
KinderMourn – Empty Arms
For parents, the death of a baby at any time during pregnancy or shortly after birth is devastating. Many times, even our most sensitive friends and family do not know how to respond to this loss. To facilitate the normalcy of emotions and fears, KinderMourn offers individual counseling and support groups for those who have experienced the death of a baby from early pregnancy through newborn death.
Peer-Led and Professionally-Led Support Groups are a safe space to meet others facing similar struggles with infertility and family building. Find a Support Group near you. (For Charlotte, click here.)
Grace like Scarlett by Adriel Booker
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
Safe in the Arms of God by John MacArthur
Morning Will Come by Caleb Ministries women
Dark Clouds and Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop
For those who have suffered a miscarraige
Excerpt from Every Moment Holy
Loved Baby by Sarah Philpott
Can I Be Honest? – A study of Lamentations by Kayla Ferris, Proverbs 31 Ministries
Held – Devotional by Abbey Wedgeworth
Ours – Journaling Devotion for Men by Eric Schumacher
Isaiah 55: 8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
I am the man who has seen affliction
under the rod of his wrath;
he has driven and brought me
into darkness without any light;
surely against me he turns his hand
again and again the whole day long.
He has made my flesh and my skin waste away;
he has broken my bones;
he has besieged and enveloped me
with bitterness and tribulation;
he has made me dwell in darkness
like the dead of long ago. …
He has made my teeth grind on gravel,
and made me cower in ashes;
my soul is bereft of peace;
I have forgotten what happiness is;
so I say, “My endurance has perished;
so has my hope from the Lord.”
Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said:
“In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’
The engulfing waters threatened me,
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
brought my life up from the pit.
“When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.
“Those who cling to worthless idols
turn away from God’s love for them.
But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”
And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Personalized coffee mugs with your child’s name on it
Personalized journal to write down your thoughts through the grieving process, letters to the child you lost.
Balloon release on child’s due date or death date
Butterfly release on child’s due date or death date
Hang a stocking with the child’s name on Christmas
Name the child, even if you didn’t know their gender
Have a “song” that reminds you of your child that your family can play
Have a memorial service (even if just for you and your husband or family)
Talking about your child to close friends
Have a stone or physical place of memorial to be able to go and remember your child
Send a Care Pack.
Show up – The power of “presence” goes a long way.
Ask about their baby in ways that are relevant (what he/she looked like, if they named the baby, ask about the birth story)
Ask how dad or husband is doing. The men are often overlooked.
Remember significant dates (due dates, anniversaries, birthdays)
Acknowledge their grief on holidays
Give them permission to talk about their loss, or to not talk at all.
Encourage them not to minimize their pain or compare to “worse” types of loss.
Say the child’s name. Bereaved parents love to hear it!
Find a church that recognizes your loss and pursues you in your grief journey. Here are a few that we know will do that.